Well today was pretty much just another day. I woke up early and was rather hungry. That's usually a sign i'm gonna be sick, but not today luckily. I got to talk to Leah when i woke up, so that was a good start. And today was my first day in my class with Rachel, the girl who my first entry is about. I gotta say, i was pretty excited about the whole deal. And before anyone thinks i'm stalking her because i added the class she was in, i have my reasons. First, its a business core class, so i need the class. Second, it was the only section that fit my schedule. So having rachel in the class is just an added bonus.

But i'm not so sure she shares my views on that. I sat in the first seat by the door, so everyone that came into class would have to pass by me. I got there early so i could make sure to talk to the professor and still be there before rachel. I took my seat and waited. Just before the bell, she came running in and began looking for a seat. Unfortunately, the seat next to me had been taken, even though i had hoped it would be the only one left for her, but oh well, not all my plans work out. So she passed right by me... without even saying a word or making any sort of hello gesture. That hurt. Now i think most people can usually recognize me from just about any distance. Everyday i wear my red yankees hat, backwards of course, khaki colored carpenter pants from old navy (or something similar), and almost always a black shirt, which i'm becoming known for. But admittedly, it's not like she was looking for me or expecting me in the class, so i guess she simply could have overlooked me. but then she takes her seat, just a few feet from my own and begins looking around. she eventually looked right at me, but didn't seem to see me. Once again i was hurt. She did that a couple more times, looking right at me, and each time i just sat there smiling, hoping she'd see me, but she never reacted like she knew i was there. So waited all thru class, just waiting for a chance to go say hi to her. and when the class finally ended, i walked past her, made a quick comment to draw her attention. Her reply? "I didn't see you there." I walked a few steps past her and dropped something off for the professor. I wasn't gone for more than 3 seconds and by the time i'm turned back around she's already bolting out the door. Now when i have a class with a friend, which she still claims to be and what i want her to be, i usually stick around and will wait at least 3 seconds for them so we can walk and talk some. But apparently i'm not afforded this friendly gesture, so i had to walk quickly to catch up. And when i did catch up, she still failed to even acknowledge the fact that i was there. No hello, no goodbye, not even a friendly glance. Just the cold shoulder. It hurt then and it hurts now recalling it. I keep asking myself one question over and over:

Why does she hate me?

I can understand and accept her not wanting to date anymore (kind of), but why won't she even look at me? She said she wanted to be friends, but she acts like she doesn't know and doesn't want to know me. Now she's just like every other girl i know. She used to be different.