Yeah.... so its been a while since i've written. Needless to say A LOT has changed. I'll start at the beginning.

I came to school on Aug. 20th figuring Deb was pretty much just a thing of the past. She had been on vacation and had been calling me a lot, but i wasn't sure what to say. I couldn't really see anything more with her because i was really still in love with Rachel. Deb started school a week after me, and got off to a really bad start. Despite what i was telling myself when i got here, whenever she didn't call, or left to go be with some other guy, i felt lonely and left behind. I knew what was going on and i felt cheated on in a way. Even though we'd never made anything official and I still wasn't sure what i thought about her, i knew i didn't like what she was doing. And it hurt me. I could see she was hurting herself and it hurt me. I have plenty of friends online who tell me about the things they do that are obviously harmful, and while i do feel bad for them, its not usually something i take personally. But this time i did.

Not that i can see the future, but i knew exactly where Deb's choices were taking her. And i told her that many times. She didn't listen to me. So she found out the hard way. I think she learned a lesson, albeit the hard way. Which she seems to enjoy. She can't ever learn the easy way and just listen to someone.

So after that huge mess, she settled down into college life and we started talking, i went home a few times to see her. We went out, we made out, etc. I'm still new at this whole dating and love thing, so i probably messed up at the beginning, but when i went home for my brother's wedding, we made it official that we were dating.

Yeah, so now i have a girlfriend. Rachel is out of my way and I've moved on to better things. No more desiring someone who i can't have. I want Deb and she's mine. Life is improving. School still sucks, and it sucks being so far away from Deb, but we're managing. We talk on the phone all the time, which is getting really expensive at times. I got her a webcam so we can see each other when we chat. That kinda eases the pain of being so far apart.

Last weekend i went home, spent nearly all the time with Deb. My birthday had been that week, so I got some presents. Pictures from the wedding, a gift card to Best Buy, blah blah blah, the usual stuff i guess. I also gave her a ring like mine. Just a plain, simple white gold wedding band. She had been wearing mine for the two weeks before the wedding and had really grown attached to it. When i gave her the ring, i told her i loved her. I do. I love Deborah Miller.