Monday morning at 2am probably wasn't my preferred time to discuss the past month with Deb, but thats when she called. We talked for 2 hours, and we/she decided that we wouldn't speak or do anything until she was ready. She came to the conclusion that she just wanted some time away from me. It finally gave me a reason and some closure as to why she had (from my point of view) turned her back on me ever since i'd gotten home. I've been agonizing night after night as to what was going on that would cause my friend to just abandon me like that. But last night, I was able to sleep better than I have in weeks. No crazy thoughts of "why?" or "what?" to keep me up all night. And while i didn't sleep quite as long as I wanted, I was at least able to fall asleep almost right away instead of laying in bed crying for hours before managing to get a few hours rest. My body has been a wreck, and with less than a week left at home, I was really hoping to get my life back together before going off to school again. Now this could just be a result of less than 2 hours of sleep yesterday after the call, but its been more than 24 hours without tears and racing thoughts and I feel so much better now. All I needed was a reason, and now I'm done with this.

I did wake up super early this morning, probably because I went to bed super early, hoping I'd sleep for just short of forever and wake up refreshed. Well I did wake up refreshed, unfortunately it was about 2am. So i got up and messed around on the computer and watched Real World reruns on MTV. Now it's not even 11am and i've been awake for almost 9 hours and this day just feels like its gonna last forever and ever. I haven't been conscious at this time of the day in weeks. Although now that i'm actually able to sleep, I may take a little nap just to pass the time.